Offbeat and Offcolour

While searching for the picture of Green Lantern throwing the satellite into the bad dude, I found that Google Image Search suggested the next lines as most popular searches when you enter the words "Ryan Reynolds" together:

Ryan Reynolds Body
Ryan Reynolds Work Out
Ryan Reynolds Abs
Ryan Reynolds Shirtless
Ryan Reynolds Beard

which is all a person really needs, but completely not the point of this post.

The point of this post was that I totally figured out where the satellite that was supposed to crash into earth went. Ryan Reynolds totally threw it into the bad dude in the new Green Lantern movie, who by the way looks much cooler
in the comics.

And by the way, my theory is much better than what the NASA people are saying. As Jonathan McDowell, of the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics said, "The best guess is that it will still splash in the ocean, just because there's more ocean out there."
A 2 year old with a map and a finger is going to come to same conclusion, Mr. McDowell. Of course, there's more ocean. Even most of the people in the Mississippi school systems know this.
One must admire, though, that astrophysicists can state the most obvious of reasoning and it sound smarter than when I say it.

Of course, most of what I say is inane, horribly offensive, and taken literally. So I shouldn't be surprised when everyone looks at me like I'm crazy after I speak.

Also, you should try this: Toss the Turtle
It's not a euphemism for butt sex. Promise.